Holidays and the roles of our Grandparents

Trailer from my documentary “Good Luck Soup.”

Grandparents play many roles in the lives of their grandchildren. They spoil, provide attention and shower them with gifts. But, the contribution of a grandparent goes beyond the short-term joys of presents. Their most vital role is that of the family historian, mentor and role model. They’re the living connections to our history and essential when understanding the cultural legacy and identity of not only our families, but ourselves.

As our cultures intertwine and give rise to new, multiracial identities, our ancestral connections will possibly fade as our roots weave deeper into the American soil. Grandparents, as family historians, have the challenge of preserving cultural heritage amongst the rise in multicultural families. But, no matter how diverse our identities become, it’s important that we preserve the history and distinctions of our ancestors and grandparents. After all, the knowledge and celebration of our culturally diverse parts is what makes us American as a whole.

Holidays, especially, are times that bring out the importance of our grandparents. Whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, holidays are drenched in the traditions of our grandparents, ancestors and cultures. Annual traditions like holiday family recipes, gift giving traditions, songs or even rituals, are carried on. Children and grandchildren, often subconsciously, are taking part and preserving these unique customs that have been passed down from grandparent to child to grandchild.

My holiday season is consumed with family ritual and tradition. Christmas Eve is spent with the Italian side of my family, Christmas morning and New Years Day is spent with the Japanese side of my family.

This last week was spent baking Italian goods with my Mother, a Christmas tradition that has been upheld for decades, if not generations. As far back as I can remember, Christmas marks the arrival of Mom’s homemade pizzelle’s, grispelle’s and Italian cookies, all of which were made by her Mother, and Grandmother before her. While many of my family’s Italian customs and traditions have been lost along the way, it’s food that keeps us connected. Often, I wonder about my Italian-born Grandparents, whom died before I was even 10 years old. If they had still been alive, would I connect differently to my Italian heritage? Would I grasp onto something other than food as a way to celebrate being Italian? I bet I would, but unfortunately, I’ll never know.

With the Japanese side of my family, I can understand and celebrate that culture a bit more. My 87-year-old Japanese American Grandmother is still alive and well, and has truly been the one Grandparent in my life. She’s passed down many customs, traditions and experiences beyond food, and it’s because of her that I’m able to recognize the importance of heritage and lineage.

My Grandmother’s holiday influence occurs mostly on New Year’s Day. Japanese, and Asian culture in general, is very big on celebrating the beginning of a new year. It’s a brand new start, a rebirth, another beginning. New Year’s Day is greatly celebrated and looked forward to in my family. My Grandmother, who is and always will be the ring-leader for this tradition, prepares an incredible buffet of Japanese food that’s served to family members and friends under one bustling roof. One of the most important New Years Day dishes is a simple and unobtrusive meal called, Good Luck Soup. While very basic, the dish is a staple and ritual on New Years Day as it symbolically represents good luck for the New Year. I can’t recall one year that I didn’t have a bowl of the soup, and even once traveled to my Grandmothers house at 6am before a ski trip to have a bowl of Good Luck Soup.

Over the years, I’ve grown captivated with the different traditions of my family. I no longer view them simply as family customs, but cultural customs. All our families came to the United States of America for unique reasons, bringing with them the cultures of their own homeland. For me, it’s important to recognize and preserve these roots, to acknowledge the differences and beginnings of my multiracial family. American culture, if not worldly culture, has a tendency to discriminate against those whom are different. It’s disgusting, really, and humanity would be quite drab without the things that differentiate us from others. I want to preserve, those things and celebrate them.

Throughout my life, I’ve had the unique and wonderful experience of having two strong cultural influences. Over the years, many of our traditions have been lost or modified as the Japanese and Italian traditions of my Grandparents mix with those of others. It’s sad, but also an interesting notion to realize how our cultures change and sometimes get lost over time. But then again, maybe it’s not the loss of a family culture, but the beginning of a new one.